Play no games, except when attempting to approach both men and women in a social setting.
the joker approach: keep a small laminated photo of a baby goat in your wallet at all times and ask the unsuspecting yet intrigued contender “hey want to see a picture of my kid?” Watch a smile permanently ingrained upon their face for the rest of the night.
the performer approach: ask for three random objects in persons purse or wallet and begin juggling said objects, watch his or her eyes light up with excitement and confusion
the artist approach: carry a sketch pad easel and beret and a small jar of beeswax with you, approach a beautiful man or woman and say “je te peindrai” which means “I will paint you.” Don’t ask in question form so they can’t say yes or no. Note: the small jar of beeswax is for men or more daring women who would like to curl their stache up on both sides to give it that full french effect.
the classic approach: simply walk over and say hello, introduce yourself like a proper gentlemen.
the bro approach: make sure this one doesn’t turn into a party fail, no homo bro but you’re gonna have to hold off the hair gel tonight as you will be perspiring more than normal and the axe body spray won’t save you, do the jersey shore shuffle right up into his or her posse begin shouting random things into their faces like “jager bombs” and “tequila shots” then offer a coconut oil massage, say “i want to be on you like white on rice” then hand them a coupon for a 2 for 1 special at the local barber / salon.
the handyman approach (note: not to be confused with the bro approach, the handyman approach is basically the same only yields different results): carry a screw in your back pocket, approach your potential new friend, pull out the screw, look them dead in the eye and ask “wanna screw?”
the knight in shining armor approach: literally show up in a suit of armor (mandatory), shine it up before you get there – keep it classy and be on horseback (optional), she’ll be oozing in the thrill of a seeing a horse at a bar, this is the deal sealer – keep your sword sheathed for the possible festivities at the end of the night.
the biggie approach: as soon as he buys that wine just creep up from behind, ask them what their interests are, who they be with, things to make them smile, what numbers to dial, then say “you gon be here for awhile? Ima call my crew, you gon call your crew, we can rendezvous at the bar around 2.” Then throw your keys to lil cease and then pull the truck upfront.
the promoter approach: take up all the air in the room, list off every project you are working on, every single project you and your family, your friends, your family friends dog is working on, then hand them like 5 stickers, 2 flyers, 1 coupon and your homies mixtape. Then say “its lit fam” stand awkwardly for a solid 30 seconds, hopefully they will be so impressed by all the things you said they will begin to stroke your ego or want to continue a conversation or maybe they show up at one of the 20 events you told them about.
Next time you are in a local pub or at your public library , use these fail proof approaches for starting conversation with unassuming prospects.
